Changes in family structure affect children’s social and emotional development in numerous ways. Studies have found that family structures are changing more frequently than in previous decades; the impact of increased divorce and cohabitation rates causing some concern surrounding child and adolescent socio-emotional development. In 2015, the Office for National Statistics’ most recent report recorded 114,720 divorces in England and Wales in families with children under 16 years old during 2013. Recent statistics from the Child Bereavement Network suggested that by the age of 16, at least 5% of young people will have experienced a traumatic change in family structure following the death of one or both parents, and 3.5% are bereaved of parents or siblings. Evidently it is important that research continues to examine the impact of family structure, specifically parental loss, on children’s socio-emotional development. This post discusses the impact of these changes in family structure across both childhood and early adolescence.  For the purposes of this post, the ‘child’ and or ‘adolescent’ is understood to be under the age of 16 years old, due to increased independence and discrepancies in statutory protective laws beyond age 16.

Child development comprises five specific dimensions: attachment, emotional competence, social competence, self-perceived competence, and temperament or personality. The juvenile brain learns behaviours and expands these dimensions through scaffolding experiences. Initial experiences with caregivers and engaging with their environment informs how the child experiences, manages, and expresses emotions to form and sustain positive relationships. Traditionally, maternal figures were central to children’s emotional development due to greater time spent in the home, as the primary caregiver. However, with more mothers working full-time and divorce increasingly prevalent, it is more appropriate to acknowledge a systemic approach towards children’s socio-emotional development. A systemic consideration can include whole families whilst considering climate.

It is important that child and adolescent socio-emotional development is understood because it forms the basis of human autonomy; decision making, social interactions and relationships, into adulthood. These competencies can impact life outcomes. The aforementioned emotional development processes are affected by moderating adjustment factors such as age, child gender, parental gender, the circumstances of loss, timing of loss, siblings, family climate and their available support networks. Parental loss, in relation to children’s socio-emotional development, has been widely researched. Whilst the extent of the effect that parental loss alone has on children’s social and emotional development is inconclusive, negative outcomes for affected children and adolescents are common. Death of a parent or divorce can lead to compromised parent-child relationships, mal-attachment issues, maladjusted social and emotional behaviours, and poorer academic performance.

In summary, it is crucial to understand that during a child’s early years, foundational social interactions with parents, caregivers and siblings, inform the way they engage with peers and the wider world into adulthood. Social examples by elders allow children to understand predictable interactions, morals and conventions, thus developing their emotional skills, prosocial behaviours and consistent relationships.

Losing a parent; Divorce and Death

Research states that both biological married parents residing together, results in better outcomes for that child. It creates a stable domestic environment that is optimal to the child’s social and emotional development due to various factors. These factors are commonly a child’s access to parental and economic resources. Both married biological parents residing together provide relationship security, consistent care and emotional stability for a child, whilst greater economic resources tend to exist in married relationships as well. Children’s needs are met more closely in reliable environments; parental warmth and safety provides optimal conditions for sleep and appetite, promoting better overall health, learning, and socio-emotional outcomes. The combination of parental attachment and family climate impact the infant’s emotional expectations from experiences by the age of one. Therefore, if the family structure defies a child’s expectations, or demonstrates unpredictability from past emotional experiences (witnessing domestic abuse, parental divorce or separation, or irreversible loss by death), this may incur long term repercussions to the child’s emotional development if not handled with due care. These changes to family structure are discussed using empirical research in three types: parental death and bereavement, divorce and separation, and family growth. 

Parental death and bereavement have been shown to have considerable, yet varying, effects on child and adolescent socio-emotional development. The death of a parent is always traumatic for children, and estimates suggest that over 100 children are bereaved of a parent every day in the UK, although data may be underinflated. This sudden change to family structure and irreversible loss can prove negative for children’s emotional development. Often young individuals are rendered emotionally vulnerable into adulthood, experiencing poorer later life outcomes, such as drug use, depression and higher risk criminal behaviours from ‘sleeper’ (low self-esteem, poor self-perception, relationship issues) bereavement effects on both social and emotional development. In total, 45,000 children are bereaved of parents annually in the United Kingdom and 41% of young offenders experience parental death. Intervention programmes and social support systems aim to aid children in completing mourning and overcoming grief to promote better socio-emotional adjustment and outcomes.

Death of a Parent

Although there is no doubt that even very young children react to loss (associated grief behaviours vary), there is considerable controversy about when children have the developmental prerequisites for complete ‘mourning,’ or the likelihood of achieving a healthy outcome if bereavement occurs during early years. Before age 4 most children are unable to achieve complete mourning, which may impact their emotional development. Today, it is known that adolescents have a greater understanding of situations than infants, and therefore, their grieving process and emotional response differs.

The death of a parent may or may not be expected, thus the impact of the passing will illicit different emotional responses. Irrespective of the parent-child relationship, or whether the bereavement was due to accident, illness, or suicide, there will be varying repercussions for the child’s internal state. Family environments equally affect children; stable families provide a more optimal emotional climate for better post-death emotional development. However for all family types and loss contexts, after death, new emotional dynamics within a home can cause parent-child relationship strains.

For young children, their lack of understanding of the adult grieving process; their remaining parent’s new emotions (potentially manifested as depression) and the loss itself, can impact their emotional development negatively. Indeed, a previously emotionally available and warm parent may now be experiencing their own psychological complications and this loving resource for the child is now more limited or withdrawn. Reduced support can threaten a child’s basic needs, damage the relationship quality, and restrict open communication, which has been shown to increase child disturbance and facilitate higher risk of depression and anxiety disorders. Responsively, young children may lose speech abilities or withdraw themselves socially, developing both social and emotional incompetencies that may eventually lead to complete detachment from others. Physiologically, emotional stress may cause a young child dysphoria, sleep issues and decreased appetite, affecting their learning and emotional development. Alternatively, some respond by seeking emotional warmth elsewhere, later becoming dependent on the remaining family, developing excessive caring habits that extend into school.

What about teens?

Similarly, older children and adolescents experience much of the aforementioned emotional problems seen in younger children. However due to further development, their understanding of situations and the implications of permanent loss can affect their emotional responses differently. The same physiological changes may occur in bereaved adolescents, and similar detachment or dependency behaviours, as well. However, research has shown more primitive defense behaviours from adolescents after parental death.

Older children and adolescents experience more fear than younger, less socio-emotionally developed children. Fear due to loss can increase anxieties; new responsibilities in the family, greater loyalty demands from remaining parents, and expectations during developmental transitions. This can cause concerns around personal abilities, inducing negative self-assessment from feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. This negative emotional development during adolescence may have persisting implications for adulthood if unresolved, such as the development of lasting psychological disorders and antisocial behaviours. It can, however, encourage adolescents to become more mature and independent.

Gender Differences

Some research explains that children do tend to express their emotions differently depending on their gender. Boys tend to externalise more problem behaviours (aggression in place of sadness) and poorer learning, whilst girls ruminate more depressive symptoms during childhood, with higher psychological disorder outcome risks. Boys tend to have lower depression rates than girls, although research is still undecided on which gender’s socio-emotional development is more vulnerable. Indeed, current research lacks large-sample longitudinal studies beyond a year after death, and therefore, research remains inconclusive as to whether immediate effects may incur long-term social and emotional issues. Some studies have suggested poor emotional development from parental death to create relationship incompetencies, trust issues, poor health and lesser education.

Alternatively, if the loss of a parent is supported successfully, an adolescent or child may have a normal emotional development process, perhaps even gaining greater self-understanding and empathy. Research conclusively states that children of all ages are equally dependent upon open communication and support from remaining family and social networks, to facilitate and complete their ‘mourning’, continuing positive socio-emotional development processes. Of the few qualitative studies conducted, results have shown that bereaved children seek continuity and routine, support and warmth, and open communication; all crucial to positive emotional development for improving later outcomes.

Marriage, Separation and Divorce

Divorce and separation can cause similar negative impacts on children’s socio-emotional development. Partnership changes cause increased maladjustment issues, allowing psychosocial behaviours to develop and later, poorer outcomes. Parental separation may not only result in an absent parent and new custody routines but the loss of their home, decreased income, or even the introduction of an unfamiliar family. Along with anger from the breakdown of the relationship, older children and adolescents may find themselves misperceiving the situation and conflict, feeling guilty and partly responsible, as well as distressed. These are all feelings inflicted by family instability. Emotions of fear for being deserted and parental rejection may ruminate too, just as with death, causing adolescents to feel lonely and insecure. Self-esteem and trust issues are apparent into adulthood, with immature attachment due to dependency and safety concerns affecting later love relationships.

As with the death of a parent, young children may have inadequate understanding of the changing structural situation. Disagreements and parental conflict may have occurred for some time prior to the structural changes in a family and children of any age are sensitive to this. The family often becomes less child-centred and relationship interactions may be more negative. Commonly, younger children show more sensitive and regressive responsive behaviours, becoming immaturely dependent and attached to parents. 

Comparatively, adolescents’ situational understanding leads to more salient behaviours, such as withdrawal, due to loss of trust and respect towards their parents following divorce and conflict. Frequently, they exhibit demands for control and autonomy to increase their self-reliance, during an already emotionally demanding developmental stage. Children up to 16, come to realise and question the ‘failed’ marriage or partnership and this commonly leads to adult relationship problems, due to trust and commitment issues. Combined with conflict experiences and desires for security in adulthood, similar independence choices are often repeated.

Insecurity from childhood divorce and separation has shown lasting effects on children’s socio-emotional development. Immediate physiological responses are common in young children such as bedwetting, nightmares and decreased appetite. These are reactions to familial changes and unmet needs, largely caused by stress, lack of perceived or experienced stability or ‘safety,’ and mal-attachment. Whilst adolescents share the same concerns and feelings as younger children, they often respond differently; misbehaving at school, developing poor sleep, exhibiting withdrawal behaviours. Indeed, emotional development is negatively affected along with learning, educational and social outcomes. After changes, children will notice a decrease in parental support and control due to new emotional complications within the family. New emotional stress is placed on children throughout the separation process. There is little research on paternal absence’s affect for children’s emotional development, however, reduced parental support by fathers has been shown to cause issues with negative self-perception in children and adolescents. This is due to feelings of rejection and abandonment, that the child was not enough for the father to maintain co-parenting and custody.

Communication is key

Overall, research indicates that more severe emotional development issues may arise for adolescents due to their increased understanding and accessible emotional vulnerability during times of change. Compared with adults, children and adolescents may wish to express emotions differently via play, stories and drawings for example, and these strategies must be respected by caregivers. Consensus among researchers and clinicians is that children’s needs and best interests must be met by relationship maintenance between both parents, except in abusive or severely conflicting cases. The key challenge that parents must face and resolve is establishing a new co-parental relationship with a former partner to best benefit the child where parental (love, consistency and structure) and economic (income changes) resources must be agreed upon. This may result in positive emotional and social development and better life outcomes for the child.

Consider growth and expansion too… 

Whilst this post has addressed parental loss, family structure may change due to growth, as well. Step-families are the result of new parental partnerships or remarriage with a non-biological parent and potentially non-biological siblings. Unfamiliar family expansion can affect child and adolescent socio-emotional development. Research has recognised that parent-child bonds become more ambiguous. This is due to new relationship development outside of the previous structure and decreased child-centredness by parents. These new emotional dynamics can cause children to detach and withdraw. Due to these changes, children may develop poor self-perception, low self-esteem and relationship complications later on.

Family Climate

Family structure is not the sole indicator of children’s socio-emotional development and later outcomes. Evolution of familial structure points towards recognition that family climate is the deciding factor for positive emotional development in children. Research concerning ‘who’ makes up the family and home as opposed to ‘what’ has made research around family structure inconclusive. Emotional relationship quality is stressed as crucial to both emotional and social development during childhood. Stable and consistent relationships are responsible for shaping children’s socio-emotional competencies, forming prosocial, well-adjusted behaviours that develop and sustain relationships. Parental warmth, monitoring, and low conflict has promoted higher self-esteem, better attachment patterns, increased learning abilities and healthy socio-emotional development for later life.

Can I help my child and/or children?

Research highlights the importance of supporting children and adolescent’s during their loss of a parent by death, or absence from separation and divorce. Emotional support by remaining parents, family and surrounding support networks were consistently attributed to positive social and emotional adult outcomes. This warmth and care provides emotional security to children in order to promote positive socio-emotional development.  Equally, the facilitation of open communication between caregivers and children with the help of bereavement support groups, counselling, and psychoeducation allows positive emotional processes to occur. These include; schools offering supportive psychoeducation groups and counselling to affected children, as well as inclusion in normal curriculum, memorialising activities, attendance rituals, and esteem enhancing activities. It is through this positive emotional support, using resilience techniques and safeguarding, that optimal social and emotional development continues, or even thrives.

Conclusively, changes to family structure have a negative impact on child and adolescent social and emotional development, however these experiences are formative but not solely responsible for adulthood outcomes. The effects of family changes may be immediately emotional, shown via different behaviours, that can result in poor development due to mal-adjustment, mal-attachment and poor self-perception problems. The lasting effects of poor socio-emotional development during childhood remain inconclusive although many studies link poor childhood emotional development to poor socio-emotional adjustment and outcomes in adults. Research and exploration of adult outcomes and associated risk factors needs to continue, although it is faced with problems accessing large samples of bereaved children and adolescents, over extended time periods. This research is deeply necessary in understanding children’s socio-emotional development and appropriate interventions for when they are affected by changes to family structure.

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